Fiction: ‘Oxytocin’

81 - Oxytocin

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When I wake up in the morning, and that heavy black cloud hangs over me, blocking out the light, I can see the sun rising in your eyes.

I breathe a little faster.

My heart beats a little heavier.

That cloud dissipates, broken apart by the seed of bliss you’ve planted. You juggle the stars just to make me smile, and sing in your broken voice to keep me calm.

Baby, you’re the only friend I have

***

I journey on through a day much like every other as I battle demons and slay dragons.

Over time, my conscience is scarred beyond recognition.

All my thoughts are contaminated with sarcasm.

But no matter how far I stray off the path, I’m always led back to the safety of your arms. You keep the light on all through the night just so I can find my way back through the darkness.

When I lose my way, you always guide me home.

***

I love the sound of the television running on in the background as we make love on the couch. I love how your breath quickens. I love wearing your worn old shirt afterwards.

I can only ever sleep when I’m next to you.

Even when the moon is full, and the light blasts through the skylight and against my eyelids, the rhythm of your heart steadies me and lulls me back to my dreams.

Sometimes the wiring in my body is broken.

And you’re the release of dopamine that saves me.

***

You hold my hand in your calloused one as we watch this ridiculous world of ours evolve backwards. We watch politicians squawk at one another like seagulls. We watch neighbours poison each other’s land, and lovers hurt one another.

We watch the world burn in deliberately lit flames.

But when I feel the crushing weight of the world lie heavily on my shoulders, you lift the burden and remind me that I’m not alone.

With you, I’m never alone.

You’ve given me enough reasons to love life.

            ~ Ekaterina

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